Self-Credibility

The other day I listened to a speech Will Smith had given. Its sole purpose was to educate, and encourage people to take the initiative of self discipline. As he had stated, “Self discipline is the foundation of self love and respect.” It does not matter whether you suffered from a traumatic experience or an extremely bad breakup. Allowing yourself to grow as a person is your responsibility. Being able to take that past experience and transfer it into positive energy used as a form of encouragement is being self-credible.

These words had never been as relatable as they were that second. For years I had allowed myself to play the role of a victim. Dwelling in the past had deteriorated my well-being internally which made its way to the outer portion of my life. I did not know how to separate it, and honestly, the pain I felt had become part of who I was. It had become easy for me to blame myself and the person who inflicted hatred and punishment towards me, because I had deserved it. This pain I carried around for twenty-four years was like a tumor on my brain. Exhausting, yet liberating to know that I would suffer as I had been taught.

To hear the words that I am responsible for my well-being, getting myself out of that pity hole and to suck up whatever pain I felt sent chills down my spine. To hear the words I was so afraid of confronting was excruciating, but all the more true. I had broadcast the amount of love I had for myself, yet I was less than willing to change my mindset and apply what I had experienced to grow into a better woman. The lady I had envisioned my entire teen years, you know-the one you read in those novels about a superhuman fighting crime fabulously? Well, I was no where near that (and I will not be). However, I understand and have began soaking in all of the information Mr. Smith lectured. Being credible for myself, the first step of discipline-and the first one of having love for oneself. Those words had never penetrated as deep as it has now.

xoxo,

A.